"Just It's Mine!": Understanding the Phases of Toddler Posesif and How to Overcome them

"Just It's Mine!": Understanding the Phases of Toddler Posesif and How to Overcome them - As your toddler progresses, you will experience a moment in which children become very possessive of objects or people around them. They will assume all the objects and people around him are his, and others should not touch or have them.

If anyone dares to touch his toys, they will get angry. Or if the food is requested, they will cry. Can also when his father or mother talk to other people or have to work, children become hysterical. Although annoying, this possessive behavior is a normal stage in the development of their age.

Why can a toddler be possessive?

The possessive phase usually starts from children aged 18 months to 4 years. This phase is a normal stage of development, because in this phase toddlers learn to understand the concept of ownership, bonding, and identity himself.

A previous study also mentioned that the possessive behavior known as the "endowment effect" is not only owned by adults, but also toddlers. Endowment effect is a term that indicates that a person tends to assume that his possessions are more valuable simply because the goods are his property.

A child development psychologist at the University of Michigan also explains that toddler thinking is still very simple. At the age of 2 to 4 years, the toddler realizes that he can claim a thing or person as his own only through words like, "It's mine!". So do not be surprised if your child will claim all the objects he likes as his own.

In addition, at the age of five, they also begin to realize the existence of self. For example when their baby will mirror and think that what he sees in the mirror is another baby. While toddlers already know that the reflection in the mirror is himself. So, along with the development of awareness of toddlers for existence and identity, toddlers also begin to realize its ownership. Toddlers will feel that his identity is stronger if he succeeds in claiming something as his own and agreed upon by others.

Do possessive children change?

Facing a possessive child is difficult and challenging. However, you need to know is sharing or sharing is not a concept that can be easily accepted by children. So if you want to train a possessive child to be more willing to share, then you need to guide your child patiently. Learning to share for the child requires a process from time to time. Here are some steps you can take to help the process:

• Train your child to start sharing with his or her own parents. It will be easier because they know you will not seize it, and they can ask for their toys back.
• Frequently go to the playground. Invite your child to play outside. This is the best place for children to learn to socialize, share toys, and play alternately with friends. If the child wants to bring his own toy from home, ask your child to set aside at least one toy that can be lent to someone else.
• Ask the children to lend the items they have a lot. For example story books, lego, crayons, and others. The reason, sharing things that the number of course will be much easier.
• Be patient while teaching your child to share. Over time this phase of the possessive child will decrease as well.
• Being an example. Besides being indeed passing through a certain phase, possessive children can also imitate this negative behavior of the surrounding environment. So, it is important for parents to be role models for children by sharing. Avoid scrambling for trivial or unnecessary things in front of the child.

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